Navigating the different stages of aging can be hard enough, even if you have a spouse or partner to share the journey with you, but what if you reach a point where your aging journeys diverge? For example, what if one of you starts losing track of bills, or losing your balance easily but the other is still strong and healthy enough to care for themselves? If you have run into the situation where your spouse needs assisted living, but you do not, there are a few different ways you can choose to handle the situation.
Become a Caregiver
One option is for you to become a caregiver for your spouse, but that is not always the best choice. Becoming a caregiver is a full-time job and it requires a specific set of skills. If you are not able to provide your partner with the level of care they need, then it might be time to start looking for an assisted living community.
Aging Together, But Living Separately
Another option is for the spouse in need of assisted living to move into assisted living on their own while you remain at home. This option is not for everyone and should only be considered if the assisted living community is near enough to your home that you can visit your spouse often. Frequent visits can reduce separation anxiety, which eases the transition from their former home to their new home in assisted living.
Living Together in Assisted Living
Some assisted living communities (like Stillwater Senior Living) allow residents’ spouses to live with them even if the spouse does not need assisted living. The healthier spouse is not charged for assisted living services they are not using, and they get to continue living with the love of their life and taking care of them when they can. This is the ideal situation for most couples in different stages of the aging process because they get to stay together. Not only does that help keep both of them happy and healthy, but it also eases the transition to assisted living.
Different Levels of Care
While we have primarily focused on one spouse needing assisted living while the other does not need any assistance, it is important to remember that another common occurrence is both spouses needing different levels of assisted living. Maybe one just needs help performing certain chores, while the other keeps forgetting to take their medication or pay their bills.
Many assisted living communities (including Stillwater Senior Living) allow spouses to live together while receiving different levels of care. Each spouse is charged for the care they receive, so if your spouse needs more assistance on a daily basis than you do, you will not have to worry about your bill going up based on their needs.
At Stillwater Senior Living, we recognize that every resident has their own level of need and their own, unique aging process. And every couple is just as unique, which is why we work so hard to cater our services to your individual needs. If you have been wondering if assisted living is right for you, reach out now so we can talk about the benefits Stillwater Senior Living has to offer.
The Spooky Season is in full swing, and whether you’re a lover of horror movies, or you’re more likely to hide under the covers during the scary parts, you probably prefer your horror in fiction rather than your day-to-day life. Nevertheless, most older Americans find the prospect of moving into assisted living to be a scary one, but of all the things you have to be afraid of these days, we don’t think moving into assisted living should be one of them. On the contrary, needing assisted living and not having access to it is one of our worst nightmares.
Whether you’re worried about moving into assisted living yourself, or you have a loved one you’re considering moving into assisted living, we have some tips to help make the transition less scary.
- Choose the Right Assisted Living Community for You
Making sure you have the right assisted living community on your side can go a long way towards making you and/or your loved one feel better about the move. There are several things to consider when weighing the pros and cons of various assisted living communities including:
- Cost: Money is far from the only consideration, but an assisted living community that meets all your needs can’t help you if it doesn’t fit into your budget. So, the first thing you need to do is take a good, hard look at your finances so you can determine your budget before you start looking at assisted living communities.
- Location, location, location: Location is everything, but it’s important to remember that, just because an assisted living community is near your loved one’s current residence does not necessarily mean it’s right for them. They might want to move somewhere warmer, or they’ll want to move closer to their children or other family members so they can visit regularly. It can help to come up with a list ahead of time so you can check it against your various assisted living options to see which one meets the greatest number of your requirements/preferences.
- Reviews: Reputation matters in everything from business to dating and the assisted living community you choose is no different. While we are always a proponent of good assisted living communities, the reality is that not all communities meet our high standards. The care of your loved one is too important to leave to chance, so do your due diligence ahead of time to make sure your loved one will be in good hands.
- Allow Time for the Reality to Set In
Insisting that your loved one needs to move into assisted living right away is one of the best ways to make sure they dig in their heels and refuse to move. Instead of waiting until the last minute when your loved one absolutely needs assisted living, give them a heads up months, even years in advance of when you actually need them to move into assisted living. Start talking to them about the benefits assisted living can provide. Ask them about their vision for their golden years and suggest ways that assisted living could fit into that vision.
- Take Them on a Tour
We are often most afraid of the unfamiliar because we build it up in our heads as something terrifying, even when there’s nothing to fear. To prevent your loved one from falling into that trap, take them on a tour of your chosen assisted living community with you so they can see it for themselves and start to see what living there would look like. That’s often all it takes for them to get used to the idea of living there, and once they’ve become accustomed to the idea, they’ll be more accepting of the transition.
Whether you need a tour, or just more general information about what your loved one can expect from the move to assisted living, we’re here to help. All you have to do is reach out to start your transition to a better assisted living community.
Being a caregiver to an Older American is an incredible gift, but let’s face it, it is also a lot of work, and it involves a fair amount of stress. Every job comes with a risk of burnout, but due to the fact that caregivers often feel like they always have to be on the clock, they are particularly susceptible to burnout. So, if you are a caregiver, whether for a loved one or as a profession (or both) use these tips to make sure you do not burn out.
- Take a Break
If you’ve ever flown in an airplane, you know the flight attendants always say that, if the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling, you need to put your own mask on before helping anyone else with their mask. Since you cannot help anyone if you can’t breathe, it only makes sense to put on your mask first, but we often do not think of self-care the same way in everyday life.
When we get tired and/or stressed and we do not do anything about it, we are more likely to make mistakes that could potentially harm the person for whom we are supposed to be caring. We can also get sick, in which case we can’t take care of anyone – and we might even endanger them by exposing them to bacteria or a virus they cannot fight off if they have a compromised immune system.
So, if you want to provide the best care possible, it is important to take breaks regularly and take some time that is just for you. Get some extra sleep. Watch your favorite movie or TV show. If you feel yourself getting tired, don’t ignore it or try to push through it. Listen to your body and give it what it needs, so you can give your loved one what they need.
- Ask for Help
This goes hand in hand with our first tip because you need someone you can rely on to take care of your loved one while you are taking time for yourself. It could be a friend or family member, or it could be a nurse or aide you hire part time.
When it comes to caring for an aging parent, the responsibilities tend to get loaded onto one child, so if that sounds similar to your situation, do not be afraid to let your siblings know when you need help. If they are not around, they cannot see what you are dealing with, and they certainly cannot read your mind, so you have to be the one to communicate and let them know when you’re feeling overwhelmed. If your siblings live far away and cannot travel to watch your parent, ask if they can chip in to help with expenses.
- Join a Support Group
Being a caregiver is a uniquely stressful position, especially when you are caring for a parent, but it can help to talk with other people who are going through the same thing. They cannot solve your problems for you, but they can listen with a sympathetic ear and let you know you are not alone. They can also provide some tips and resources you may not have considered because they’ve been there and done that.
- Consider Assisted Living
Assisted living ensures your loved one gets the best care possible without risking caregiver burnout. It allows you to spend more quality time with your loved one because you get to be truly present when you’re with them instead of caring for them and worrying about making sure they have everything they need. If you think it might be time to discuss assisted living options for your loved one, reach out now so we can help.
The summer is the perfect time to get out and enjoy the great outdoors, but it also poses certain risks we don’t encounter throughout the rest of the year. In addition to heat stroke, you also have to worry about dehydration, sun burn (which can cause skin cancer), and bug bites, just to name a few. Older Americans are often more vulnerable than others when it comes to things like dehydration and heat stroke, so if you’re caring for (or just going on vacation with) some older Americans, use these tips to help keep them safe this summer.
- Keep Hydrated
The first and most important thing to be aware of is their hydration level. Older Americans are less likely to feel thirst, even when they’re losing water, so it’s important to stay on top of their hydration and make sure they’re drinking water regularly. Always make sure they have water handy, especially if they’re spending time outside in the heat. Keep track of whether they’re drinking their water, and if you notice it’s been a while since they’ve taken a drink, suggest they sip some water. Sometimes just the suggestion is enough to remind someone they’re thirsty and that it’s been a while since they’ve had a drink.
- Stay Inside in the Middle of the Day
The sun is at its brightest (and most damaging) from 10 am to about 2 pm, while the middle of the afternoon tends to be the hottest part of the day. So when it comes to enjoying some time outside in the summer months, you’re better off enjoying the book ends: early morning and evening. Sunrises and sunsets are both beautiful and they’re great times to be outside, but don’t let your older American stare at the sun for too long, which brings us to our next point.
- Preserve Their Vision
Direct sunlight is very hard on the eyes, so it’s important to protect them with sunglasses, as well as hats with bills or wide brims. If you’re watching the sunrise or sunset with an older American, make sure they’re wearing sunglasses and remind them to look away from the sun every now and then. If you’re out in the middle of the day, make sure they have a hat with either a bill or a wide brim, which will both protect their eyes from the sun and provide shade to help keep them cool, which provides a nice segue into our next point.
- Watch for Heat Stroke
Older Americans have a harder time regulating their body temperature, so it is particularly important to protect them from the heat whenever possible, and watch for signs of heat stroke, which include headache, dizziness, nausea, confusion, and high body temperature. If you notice any of these symptoms in your loved one, seek immediate medical attention.
At Stillwater Senior Living, we’re committed to keeping our residents safe throughout the year, come rain or shine. If you have any questions about our programs or the care we provide, reach out now to start a conversation.
Finding just the right way to thank your dad for everything he’s done for you over the years is never easy, but it seems like it gets harder as the years go on. Remember when he was happy just to have you draw a picture or make macaroni art for him? Chances are good that those days are long gone, so if your art skills never improved and you’re struggling to come up with ways to show Dad just how much he means to you, we have some suggestions for you.
- Take a Hike
If your dad likes getting out and about, then make some time to do just that with him on Father’s Day this year. If he’s a nature lover, find some local hiking trails you can explore with him or a natural history museum. If he’s a history buff, see if there are any historical sites nearby you haven’t visited with him yet (or at least haven’t visited recently).
Even just a walk through your local mall or downtown shopping area can be a great way to spend some time with Dad this Father’s Day. You can grab lunch, see a movie, do some shopping, or just watch the people go by.
- Watch TV
If he’s a sports fan and his favorite sports team happens to be playing that day, just the simple act of watching a game with your father can be incredibly rewarding. If he’s not into sports, bring his favorite movie or some episodes of his favorite TV show so you can all enjoy it together. Alternatively, you can bring a new movie or TV show he hasn’t seen yet, but checks off all the boxes of things he normally likes to watch so you can enjoy it together and introduce him to something new. It also makes for a great conversation starter if you’re looking for something to talk about over a meal.
- Large Print Playing Cards
If your dad loves playing cards, but his eyesight isn’t what it used to be, a stack of large print playing cards might be just the thing to make his Father’s Day this year. You can help him break in the deck by playing a few games with him on Father’s Day, but it’s also something he can use again and again, either to pass the time by himself or to help him make new friends with some of his fellow residents in assisted living.
- Get Him His Favorite Foods
Whether it’s a certain homemade meal or a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant, good food is always a great gift. It’s an experience that’s greatly appreciated, and because it’s eaten and then gone, it doesn’t take up much space for the dad who has downsized to a smaller living area.
In addition to taking care of our residents’ mental and physical wellbeing all year long, we’re also available to help their families plan festivities with their loved one throughout the year. Whether you’re planning on taking Dad out for some Father’s Day adventures, or just keeping it chill and staying in, we can help you plan the perfect Father’s Day.
As if all the complications of aging weren’t confusing enough on their own, now there’s another thing to deal with: elder law. What is it? How can you tell if you need it?
Rather than making things more confusing, the goal of elder law is actually to simplify the process by guiding people through many of the most complicated aspects of aging. Elder law is not a specific brand of the law by itself. Instead, it covers a broad range of topics generally faced by older Americans, including healthcare, Medicare/Medicaid, estate planning, probate, power of attorney, etc. In this article, we’ll go over some of the most important aspects of the law covered by elder law and how you can use it to your advantage as you and your loved ones age.
Elder Law Can Help You Navigate Healthcare
The American healthcare system is confusing even when you’re in your prime and require little or no medical attention. As we age, not only do we need more care, but the process of getting that care gets increasingly complicated. Instead of just dealing with one health insurance provider, you might have to navigate Medicare and/or Medicaid, as well as any health insurance company providing supplemental insurance.
Then there’s long-term care insurance, which can help pay for things like in-home healthcare or assisted living.
The simplest way to cover these costs is simply to pay out of pocket, but that option is too pricey for many people, in which case a qualified elder law attorney can help them navigate all the steps required to get the coverage they need.
Elder Law Can Help You with Your Estate Planning
Our estate planning needs also tend to change as we age. While a qualified financial planner can help protect your assets from taxes so your dependents and beneficiaries aren’t left with a tax burden when you’re gone, as we get older, we’re more likely to need long-term care and/or assisted living, and that’s where elder law comes in. Elder law takes a more holistic approach to your finances by helping you set aside funds and assets for your loved ones while making sure your healthcare needs are not neglected.
Too many people make the mistake of assuming they’ll never need long-term care or assisted living, and they fail to account for it in their financial planning. Elder law can help prevent you from making that mistake to ensure both you and your loved ones are covered.
Elder Law Can Help You Navigate Power of Attorney
Your power of attorney is the person capable of making financial and medical decisions for you when you are no longer capable of making them yourself, but there are different kinds of power of attorney. In addition to helping you make sure only someone you trust is granted your power of attorney, elder law can also help you protect your ability to make decisions for yourself as much as possible. For example, a “springing” power of attorney means the rights of your durable power of attorney don’t lock down until certain requirements have been met, such as a specific medical diagnosis.
If you have questions about elder law and/or assisted living, we’re happy to help. Reach out now to start a conversation.
Celebrating Valentine’s Day in assisted living can be challenging at the best of times, and let’s face it, these are not the best of times. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still celebrate love and the people who matter most to us. This year we have some ideas as to how you can celebrate love with those closest to your heart, even if they’re in assisted living and you have to physically keep your distance.
- Send Them Gifts
You might not be able to give them gifts in person, but you can still send them a care package. Whether it’s the traditional box of chocolates, something new they’ve had their eye on, or a box of their favorite homemade cookies, sending them a gift is the perfect way to let them know you’re thinking of them and they’re still as special to you as ever.
- Call Them
Just because you can’t visit them in person doesn’t mean you can’t give them a chance to hear your voice, and that can mean more than you might realize. Sometimes a good old-fashioned phone call really is all it takes to lift someone’s spirits and make them feel connected to you (and for you to feel connected to them). You don’t have to talk about anything big, so don’t feel like you should only call when you have major news to share. It’s often sharing the small events of day-to-day life that really bring people together, so don’t hesitate to call them just because you’re thinking of them.
If your loved one can manage a Zoom call or FaceTime, even better. It can’t match meeting up in person, but it’s as close as we can get these days, so use video chat to connect with your loved one whenever possible.
- Send Photos
Sending photos of you and your family is also a great way to help your loved ones in assisted living feel connected to you and the rest of the family, especially if you have kids. Grandparents always love seeing photos of their grandkids, especially given how fast they grow. Video conferences are great, but sending a physical photo gives them something they can hold onto and keep, and if you do it regularly, they’ll get to see their grandchildren’s progress as they look over their photo collection.
- Send Gift Cards
You might not be able to take your loved one out to lunch or dinner for Valentine’s Day this year, but you can send them a gift card to their favorite restaurant, especially if it’s a restaurant that’s doing deliveries. That way your loved one can order their favorite meal as a special treat and know you were thinking of them.
If you want more ideas for expressing love and gratitude to your loved ones on Valentine’s Day, don’t be afraid to reach out to get some recommendations directly from the experts. You can also ask us what we’re doing here at Stillwater Senior Living to celebrate love with our residents.
Here at Stillwater Senior Living, we treat our residents like family. Our apartments include studio, one bedroom, and two bedroom suites, and we are pet friendly. They are designed with security features, maximum accessibility, and include walk-out patois with a full range of amenities for the entire family. We are also excited our new Memory Care Neighborhood is now open.
CONTACT US today for more information and a tour of our beautiful state-of-the-art community.
Caring for an aging loved one is always challenging, but it can be especially challenging if they have Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. They forget things and get confused, and that can be frustrating for everyone. But getting frustrated only makes the situation worse, so get creative with ways to alleviate, or even avoid that frustration. Doing so can require some creativity, so we’ve come up with a few ideas we hope will help and might even inspire you to come up with some other creative ideas for caring for a loved one with dementia.
Display Old Photos
Patients in the later stages of dementia tend to lose both the power of speech and the ability to process language (although those two things are separate and don’t necessarily happen at the same time). To try and compensate for it, using pictures whenever possible is a great way to keep your loved one happy and engaged. You can load hundreds of photos onto a digital picture frame and have it display them on a loop. Some digital picture frames even play music alongside the photos, which is another great way to keep your loved one calm.
Use Photos Instead of Names When Possible
Smartphones are great for their ability to pair pictures with names in our contact list, making it that much easier to identify the people we’re trying to reach. If your loved one doesn’t have a smartphone, see if you can find a phone that has space for pictures instead of names on the speed dial list so your loved one doesn’t have to struggle with names they can’t remember when they need to reach someone.
Don’t Fight Their Reality
Things tend to be most frustrating when you try to convince them something they know is not the case, or tell them they can’t do something. Rather than fight it, accept their reality and come up with reasons not to do something that fits their reality. For example, if they want to reach someone who is long dead, just tell them the person is unavailable. If they want to drive, tell them the car is in the shop instead of arguing with them. It will make things so much easier and more pleasant for everyone.
Get a “Dementia Clock”
A “dementia clock” is a clock that displays the date and day of the week, in addition to the time, and can be seen from across the room. This way your loved one doesn’t have to constantly ask what time it is or what day it is, they can just look up and act like they knew the answer all along.
Eliminate Tripping Hazards
We did a whole blog post on how to avoid falling hazards, but lighting is also key to avoiding falls and injuries, so get lights with motion sensors that light up when someone enters the room. This avoids fumbling for switches and makes it less likely your loved one will try to make do in the dark when they can’t find the switch.
Get them a cane and/or a walker, too. Even if they’re steady on their feet now, that can change quickly, so make sure you’re prepared now.
We have a lot more tips for caregivers responsible for a loved one at home, so don’t hesitate to reach out if you need some more pointers, or if you think it might be time for assisted living.
Caring for a loved one who is aging and/or sick can be a full-time job, but many family members can’t afford to quit their jobs to become a caregiver for a loved one. They’ll need a job to come back to when their caregiving responsibilities have come to an end, and that’s what the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) guarantees. Unfortunately, a lot of people are still unsure of what, exactly, the FMLA provides and how it works, so we’re going to go over everything you need to know:
What Does the FMLA Provide?
The FMLA guarantees employees the right to take up to 12 weeks of leave from work if they or someone in their family has a qualifying health issue. The time off from work is unpaid, but employers are required to provide the same group health insurance benefits at the same premium while you’re on leave. Once you return to work, they are required to offer you at least your old job, or an equivalent position.
Although the federal law does not require employers to pay workers during their FMLA leave, many employers do offer at least partial payment during FMLA leave, and some states require employers to provide some form of payment during FMLA leave, so check your local laws to make sure you know everything you’re entitled to receive.
But not everyone is eligible to take leave under the FMLA, so let’s take a look at the requirements:
Who Is Eligible to Take Leave Under the FMLA?
In order to be eligible to take leave under the FMLA you must first work for a school; a public agency; a local, state, or federal employer; or a private employer who employs 50 or more workers for at least 20 workweeks of the year. You also need to work at a location that has 50 or more employees within a 75-mile radius, which means you can’t work for an employer that has a small team at your location and more workers throughout the country, even if the total number of their workers adds up to 50 or more workers.
Second, you need to have worked for that employer for at least 12 months. The 12 months do not need to be consecutive, but you do need to have worked at least 1,250 hours within the last 12-month period before taking your FMLA leave – if you’re a full-time employee, this means you need to have worked full time for your current employer for at least 32 weeks before you can be eligible to take your FMLA leave.
When Can I Take FMLA Leave?
The FMLA allows workers to take time off if: they are unable to work due to a serious health condition; they need to care for a spouse, child, or parent with a serious health condition (siblings, grandparents, and in-laws are not covered); they recently gave birth, adopted, or are fostering a child; or if they have certain urgent situations, such as caring for a family member who is on active duty or on call in the military and suffers from a serious injury or illness.
If you’re caring for an aging parent and you’re unable to take leave under the FMLA, or your 12 weeks of leave is about to expire, it might be time to consider assisted living. We’d love to answer all your questions about the assisted living services we provide, so reach out now to learn more. Watch this video to get a sneak peak of our Memory Care Neighborhood!
Being a caregiver isn’t always easy, but it’s not all struggles and sacrifices. In fact, it’s a lot like being a parent – there are struggles and sacrifices, but there are also significant rewards that most often outweigh the bad. If you’re considering becoming a caregiver, either professionally or for a friend or family member (or both), here are some benefits you can expect to gain from taking on the role.
- It Shows the True Colors of Those Around You
Being a caregiver can be a lonely experience. It’s easy to feel like no one else understands what you’re going through, but the people of quality in your life will offer a helping hand. If no one offers help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Too many caregivers are afraid to ask for help, which can lead them to feel overwhelmed and burned out. Be sure to avoid that fate by asking for help when you need it. The people who step up are the ones worth keeping in your life. The ones from whom you hear crickets are the ones you’re better off without.
- You Can Make New Friends
Although your friends and family can help out, it’s true that no one really knows what you’re going through as a caregiver unless they’ve been there themselves. That’s why we recommend caregivers join a caregiver support group. It’s a chance to get together with other caregivers who understand your struggles and can give you tips and tricks to help you get through them. It’s also a chance to bond with other people who have had experiences similar to yours and hold the same values. Not only will you recognize the true friends you already had around you, but you’ll make some new ones.
- You’ll Have a New Appreciation for What Really Matters
Being a caregiver can be an all-consuming job, and it can be tough to make time for yourself. Even though it’s essential to take some personal time to recharge, your time off will still be limited, which means you’ll find yourself making time for the things that really matter to you, while letting the less important matters fall by the wayside. You just might surprise yourself at what you choose to keep in your life and what you choose to let go.
- It Can Bring You Closer to Your Loved One
If you’re caring for a parent or loved one, taking on the role of their caregiver can bring the two of you closer, even if you were already close to begin with. The chance to spend more time with your loved one towards the end of their life is a benefit that not everyone gets to enjoy, so make the most of it. Ask them about their childhood. How did they feel about becoming a parent? What was growing up like for them?
If you’re not close to your loved one, or if you’re still holding a grudge over something that happened in the past, becoming their caregiver can be an opportunity to resolve the negative feelings you have towards them. Not only do you have more of an opportunity to talk things over and see matters from their perspective, but seeing them in a vulnerable state can also help you move past your feelings of resentment and forgive them.
While taking on the role of caregiver has certainly proven beneficial to many people, it’s not a possibility for everyone. If you need professional help taking care of your loved one, reach out now to see how we can help your loved one live their best life in their golden years so the time you spend with them can be focused on games and reminiscing.
Here at Stillwater Senior Living, we treat our residents like family. Our apartments include studio, one bedroom, and two bedroom suites, and we are pet friendly. They are designed with security features, maximum accessibility, and include walk-out patois with a full range of amenities for the entire family. We are also excited to open our Memory Care Neighborhood in the Spring of 2020.
CONTACT US today for more information and a tour of our beautiful state-of-the-art community.